Seven Years After Disaster: What Have We Learned?

The events of 9/11/01 are burned in my memory. For purposes of this entry, they are not important. Rather, the events of the ensuing seven years are. I remember in the first ten or so days after, there was talk of a return to civility. It was short-lived. The first time I saw that it had passed, some guy cut me off on Rt. 23 and gave me the finger when I beeped.
Why is civility so difficult? The question is not even considered anymore. The idea belongs to a bygone age when shows like Davey and Goliath, The Brady Bunch and Dennis the Menace were popular. The question, "why can't we all just get along?" has become a joke, along with the phrase "family values."
Let's consider the question first. We can't get along because we have completely lost any sense of collective consciousness. All that matters is what Ihave and the hell with everybody else. I don't advocate the stifling of individual freedoms like the Chinese system, but, although I hate to admit it, there are a few lessons we could learn from them about collective will. All this talk about diversity being strength may be true enough, but it ignores the fact that Americans need to pull together to meet the challenges of the 21st century, or risk losing our standard of living. Alas, it is readily apparent that this has already begun. It is a sad fact that Americans no longer act until they absolutely have to, and then they are ready to accept patchwork, interim solutions instead of paradigm change.
Family values is an easier matter to explain, but no less difficult a problem to solve. Family values are a joke, because the family is a joke. My own life is a perfect example. I haven't seen my children in four and a half years. Should that really have been allowed to happen? If we truly lived in a society that valued the family, then some sort of authority should be in place to tell my ex-wife that the children's relationship with me must be maintained. But, beyond my own example, the demands of 21st century life in America put a huge, unnecessary strain on the foundations of the family, to the point where there isn't enough time to discuss values. Add to that the explosion of drug use, delinquency, teen pregnancy and glorification of recklessness by the media and it's clear that the family falls low on the list of national priorities. This is not true in other countries, and I think one of the reasons why is pure, American ego. We are not mature enough as a nation to listen to criticism without getting indignant. A true sign of character is the ability to accept constructive criticism and integrate it into subsequent behavior. Has this happened in American society? I see no evidence of it whatsoever. Americans continue to behave in a selfish, arrogant way that benefits no one and damages our reputation on the world stage.
Again, I know I hammer on this theme, but this type of behavior is a legacy of the 60's, when questioning values was in vogue, but the question was never really answered. It's fine to ask why, but to complete the process, a fitting substitute set of values needs to be put in place, and they never were. Civility went out the window with the loss of faith in government.
So as we pause to reflect on this national day of mourning, which should be a national holiday by the way, let us not dwell on the past, but let us make the day an opportunity to look toward a brighter, more civil future. That would truly be a lesson learned well.